Everyone loves a pig. We all know them to be cute, funny, intelligent, and delicious. But did you know that they can also predict the future?
The Mystical Pork Nomads of the Land of Oink would often divine a persons fortunes by harnessing the power of pig-poo clairvoyancy. This was a skill known only to them ...... Until now.
On the day the Large Hamron Collider was turned on, a small trans-dimensional tear appeared in a pork joint being roasted by one Mrs B Mann of 29 Acacia Road, out of which was delivered the Pork Nomads fantastical secret.
After unknowingly eating the secret with a large dollop of apple sauce and some crackling, Mrs Mann was puzzled to discover that whenever she touched a pig she could make it produce a sequence of six or seven numbers, between one and 49.
Mrs Mann went to her grave without ever realising the significance of what she thought was an amusing parlour trick. But we do ..
For we can now reveal that the porcine-produced numbers are in fact winning lottery numbers, absolutely guaranteed*
So know you know the secret of why all pigs are rich, and you can be too. So, what are you waiting for?
* Did we say absolutely? We meant absolutely not. Sorry for any confusion.